That's Scary.

Today was a challenging day to church. The thought that kept running through my head was when Pastor Kern emphasized on, if we do not believe in God we will spend ETERNAL life in hell. It brought a picture in my head of my family, which one's will I get to spend with in heaven? And slowly, one by one their faces started to fade.
Then another picture of friends, all old and new, which ones get to spend their eternity with God? Slowly those faces faded.
Lastly, I thought about the everyday people I see, driving, parked at the bars, getting gas, walking their dog, how many of you out there are saved?
My heart ached, because I don't know. But I want to know, I want to know if you are saved, I want to know if you understand and can except Jesus as your Lord and Savior, not because of my selfish desires but because He loves you more than I do, because He gave, GAVE willingly His only son to die for you! You, the drunk, the hurt, the liar, weak, dirty, angry, selfish person, God gave his son to endure a crucifixion. He was beaten nearly to death then hung on a cross for our sins, mine your's and our's.

It is so hard to wrap my brain around that, the most selfish act that anyone could ever do. As a mom, I could not imagine giving up my only son to die for this world. This world if corrupt, lonely and probably the most selfish its ever been. We crave the latest and greatest, we want what everyone else has, we strive for success in all the wrong ways.
Success for me, yes does partially have to deal with finances, but not just for me, but also to give away. I would love to be so successful at my business that I could give a family a home, give money to our church's building fund so we could start expanding to make room for more, I would love to pay someone's medical bills, etc. I want to make money for my loved ones around me and bless them with surprises.

I strive to live in full contentment, and to have a heart and mind like God.
I pray all the time for my family to find God in a real way, for that something or someone to enter into their lives to bring to Jesus so we can spend eternal life together. Then I realize that person is me, I am one of those people.

My siblings, You know very well what my life was like, how lost I was through my high school days, and how uncaring I was to myself! You know the depression problems I faced and the public humiliation I suffered. Now, NOW I can see the light in ALL of it. God doesn't put you through anything that He knows you cant handle, and I am stronger for it all. Yes, I made those choices, but God held my hand to walk to out of it all. These days, I get the opportunity to help other teenagers that were just like me, I get to love on them to guide them through those times in hopes that they dont make the same choices that I did. I GET to humiliate myself through worship to our God!
It's hard to understand God's love for you until you experience it for yourself, until He wrecks your heart, and you surrender your life, a life that He gave you, to Him. Your ticket to Heaven, is living for God and what He wants for you, not your selfish needs, but His perfect plan.

All I really know about my parents is that my mom prays, and I don't how far it goes after that. She believes, but she doesn't share. And I have no idea about my dad and where he stands. That's a very scary thought to think about the fact that your earthly parents may not spend eternal life with you in heaven. They've spent their lives taking care

One point of going to church is to share your life with those around you, because your spiritual gifts, your friendship maybe a blessing to someone else. God didn't make us to be closet believers and hoard His love, we are here for Him and to share the Gospel. Every day that passes, is one less day you get to live a life that is better for you and those around you. One less day to know more about God and experience the peace and love He can bring into your life. We can't learn God's word, unless we are IN His word!

I love my family. I pray for my family.