He is Working

Do you ever get that feeling that something is coming? Something big is about to happen?

The past three weeks at church have felt like that for me. Maybe its the Holy Spirit preparing my heart for something, but whatever is "coming" is wrecking my heart. I've been so emotionally attached to everything that has been shared during this Worship series, Sketch nights, and even at our Leadership Brunch. Just listening to Pastor Eric share his thoughts about extending our invitation to the community about the Global Leadership Summit brought tears to my eyes. 

I'm praying that God is changing my thought process, (not that its been bad it could always use improvement) bettering me to have more of a heart for those that are lost and unsaved, a heart like His. I find assurance in that when just the thought of having people from our community come to our church to learn about leadership with the possibility of finding God makes tears form because I WANT them to be in eternity with our Lord of Lords. 

Its so easy to get caught up in life and extend yourselves so far in too many directions that you forget the meaning behind it all. I'm sure that happens a lot with our pastoral team and leaders, and I have found that happening to me. But then I have a moment that reminds me of the "why". A moment a teen can share a heart breaking story with me because she knows I've been in her shoes, and she can look up to me and see the work that God has done in my life, and it changes her thought process because she can see the positive side of a situation that at one point thought she wasn't going to make it through. THAT is a gift, a treasured moment that I live for, that is why I serve this amazing God. Those moments that I pray for the unsaved to have enough confidence just to raise their hand at the end of church because they know God is calling them home and they want that welcoming hug that they have been searching for in all the wrong places. Then weeks later watching that same person get water baptized and knowing the joy they must be feeling because they have been set free and made new, tears just poor out because the joy is so overwhelming. 

I'm not sure what is coming, not sure if its church wide or something that is going to happen to me personally, but I have the faith to know its going to be good, God is working on something. 

Question:

If you could live a life of peace, contentment, a life where you didn't feel the weight of the world on your shoulders pushing you down, freedom and experience a love that you've never known, not even from your spouse, would you want a life like that? 

That's Scary.

Today was a challenging day to church. The thought that kept running through my head was when Pastor Kern emphasized on, if we do not believe in God we will spend ETERNAL life in hell. It brought a picture in my head of my family, which one's will I get to spend with in heaven? And slowly, one by one their faces started to fade.
Then another picture of friends, all old and new, which ones get to spend their eternity with God? Slowly those faces faded.
Lastly, I thought about the everyday people I see, driving, parked at the bars, getting gas, walking their dog, how many of you out there are saved?
My heart ached, because I don't know. But I want to know, I want to know if you are saved, I want to know if you understand and can except Jesus as your Lord and Savior, not because of my selfish desires but because He loves you more than I do, because He gave, GAVE willingly His only son to die for you! You, the drunk, the hurt, the liar, weak, dirty, angry, selfish person, God gave his son to endure a crucifixion. He was beaten nearly to death then hung on a cross for our sins, mine your's and our's.

It is so hard to wrap my brain around that, the most selfish act that anyone could ever do. As a mom, I could not imagine giving up my only son to die for this world. This world if corrupt, lonely and probably the most selfish its ever been. We crave the latest and greatest, we want what everyone else has, we strive for success in all the wrong ways.
Success for me, yes does partially have to deal with finances, but not just for me, but also to give away. I would love to be so successful at my business that I could give a family a home, give money to our church's building fund so we could start expanding to make room for more, I would love to pay someone's medical bills, etc. I want to make money for my loved ones around me and bless them with surprises.

I strive to live in full contentment, and to have a heart and mind like God.
I pray all the time for my family to find God in a real way, for that something or someone to enter into their lives to bring to Jesus so we can spend eternal life together. Then I realize that person is me, I am one of those people.

My siblings, You know very well what my life was like, how lost I was through my high school days, and how uncaring I was to myself! You know the depression problems I faced and the public humiliation I suffered. Now, NOW I can see the light in ALL of it. God doesn't put you through anything that He knows you cant handle, and I am stronger for it all. Yes, I made those choices, but God held my hand to walk to out of it all. These days, I get the opportunity to help other teenagers that were just like me, I get to love on them to guide them through those times in hopes that they dont make the same choices that I did. I GET to humiliate myself through worship to our God!
It's hard to understand God's love for you until you experience it for yourself, until He wrecks your heart, and you surrender your life, a life that He gave you, to Him. Your ticket to Heaven, is living for God and what He wants for you, not your selfish needs, but His perfect plan.

All I really know about my parents is that my mom prays, and I don't how far it goes after that. She believes, but she doesn't share. And I have no idea about my dad and where he stands. That's a very scary thought to think about the fact that your earthly parents may not spend eternal life with you in heaven. They've spent their lives taking care

One point of going to church is to share your life with those around you, because your spiritual gifts, your friendship maybe a blessing to someone else. God didn't make us to be closet believers and hoard His love, we are here for Him and to share the Gospel. Every day that passes, is one less day you get to live a life that is better for you and those around you. One less day to know more about God and experience the peace and love He can bring into your life. We can't learn God's word, unless we are IN His word!

I love my family. I pray for my family.

The Key is in the Ignition

The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. Matthew 7:25        

            I wanted to start blogging because Ryan and I are going through a huge transition in our life right NOW. We have been thinking, pretty much since we got married in 2009, what career out there could we see ourselves doing together. We got married because we enjoy spending time together, we hate being apart, so why not find a business that we can enjoy together as well. Some folks think this would be setting us up for a marriage catastrophe and nothing good could come out of being in business with your spouse. But that's not the case here. In a genuine, healthy, happy marriage, spending time apart is the worst part of our days. Saying, "Good bye, see you tonight or tomorrow!" on some days brings tears to my eyes because for the next 8-16 hours of my day I don't get to see my husband and create more memories with him. 
            So here we are, off to a new start because we have finally found what we have been searching for. A decision, a huge decision that not only has changed the way we think, it changes the way we see the world, our future, and its challenging our capabilities. One thing that we always had a common ground on, is we want to do something that involves working with the people around us, the community, and potentially helping out our friends and family. Of course we want to do whatever it takes to enhance the future of our family and to be financially stable to pay for our kids college, sports, or whatever other dreams they want to pursue along the way. 
            The hardest part about this whole process has been the fear. Fear can be consuming and it makes us physically sick. 

FEAR: of failing, disappointment, what if's? can we make back the initial investment? 

But the only way to kill that fear is to take it on, head on and know that God is in control! 
           To start this whole process was a significant financial commitment to put into taking classes and a "coach" for the next year to train us how do to this business and be successful at it. The fear is starting to settle a little, but I do believe it will always be there, mostly to keep us motivated to keep pushing forward. 
           We started our classes yesterday, and have a decent amount of homework, have two business meetings this week, so we are off to a great start. One thing that has really put this into action is we haven't been asking ourselves if we can do it, because we know we can, we know we have time to dedicate, the drive to be great and an awesome support system.
           I know your thinking, "Well what is your business? TELL ME!" Have patience, once we really get things started, hopefully in the next 2-4 weeks we will announce everything. Meanwhile, keep us in your prayers.